ke$hasuxx

The entire semester, as people have admitted their parasocial relationships, I have kept quiet, and in some cases secretly judged; however, I am finally willing to admit my obsession with arguably the worst artist currently making music, Ke$ha. My parasocial relationship, I would debate, is much different than many others, for I am very aware that Ke$ha sucks. (In fact, her twitter name is @keshasuxx.. so she even knows she sucks.) For starters, I think it is absolutely ridiculous that her name contains a dollar sign. Nevertheless, I am quick to correct anyone who spells her name merely as “Kesha,” as if this is deeply disrespectful to her identity. Next, I HATE facial hair. This may seem like a pointless argument, but Ke$ha is famous for her love of beards. In one of her most famous songs, she ends the track by saying “I like your beard.” Ke$ha does not simply like beards, she is obsessed with beards. Actually, Ke$ha made a Tumblr blog called “Put Your Beard in my Mouth” where she does just that: she puts beards in her mouth.  I don’t know about you, but the idea of someone’s beard in my mouth repulses me. Next, I think glitter is tacky, and Ke$ha lives for, you guessed it… GLITTER. In another one of her songs, she sings “Throw some glitter, make it rain,” and that’s exactly what she does. At her concerts she spews glitter on her audience for hours.  She even admitted to spending thousands of dollars on glitter a month. Lastly, Ke$ha is a horrible artist. Her lyrics have no substance and her singing is completely auto tuned. Yet, if a  Ke$ha song comes on the radio, I will turn it up and recite every word by heart. I can’t hear a Ke$ha song without dancing along, it’s impossible. I am not sure why I am so obsessed with songs about brushing your teeth with alcohol, getting hit on by dinosaurs (old men), or the “Party at a Rich Dude’s House,” but in the words of Ke$ha… “I’ve got a sick obsession.”