The Truth of Ellen

The Truth of Ellen

I remember watching The Ellen Show every week from the start of the season until the show was canceled.  The show began with Ellen being a nanny to young children—long hair with bangs in the front—very humorous women, but not very attractive.  As a child I grew up in a home with parents of a strong Christian background and therefore I was severely restricted on the shows I watched and music I listened too.  So naturally, when Ellen came out as a gay, I was no longer allowed to watch her program (although I did it behind my parents back anyways).  Ellen was a hero to me.  It brought out controversy that played a role in my family life for many years, the lies and deceit that covered up truth.  The reason my parents were so against me watching or knowing about “gay people” was that they covered a secret for so long.  My Uncle passed away in 1989, and I was told for many years that it was from cancer.  The story that he had cancer spilled into my teenage years and for many years, I believed that my uncle and I were extremely close.  When Ellen came out as gay in 1997—I was now 16—I began to question why all of a sudden I was not allowed to watch her show.  The truth of my uncle also finally came out 8 years later!  I found out that, he was also gay, and that he died of one of the first-ever diagnosed cases of AIDS.  It was hurtful to find out something so big in my family history many years later.  Ellen was a hero to me because of this.  I feel that her coming out on national television reveled a long time secret.  Who knows how long this lie would’ve continued to grow if it wasn’t for her.  I still have a lot of hatred towards my parents from hiding it from me for many years.  They viewed it as protection.  When I did find out I bottled it up and didn’t tell anyone about it for a long time, my parents made me feel that it was an embarrassment to deal with.  Today I simply realize that it was his life choice and it was in a time-period that AIDS was a newly diagnosed disease. 

I also believe Ellen was a hero for coming out when she did because it changed America.  Although there was much controversy and discomfort with her marital views, it made people understand that we are not all created equally!  I feel that Ellen’s views made people come to terms more with the realization of separation within church and state.  Before 1970, the concept of gays was morally forbidden and rejected.  “Gayness” was treated like a disease.    Ellen began a revolution.  Although many still feel the strong beliefs of the church and monogamous heterosexual marriage, more people have come to view the monogamous part of marriage/relationship as a more important role.  Today people still struggle with the concept of gay marriages, but it is being viewed as more of a freedom of choice than it was pre-1997.  Ellen is still viewed as #1 amongst the gay community for her revolutionary efforts.   Although many states still do not allow and recognize the legality of gay marriages, most all of them do recognize domestic partnership.  I agree completely with Bonnie Dow’s (2001) view on gays when she states, “to hate gays is to hate someone that he or she loves and is instantly transformed as a result (pg 131).”  I did not choose a homosexual lifestyle for myself, but I feel that if I was to do so, that it would be more accepted by my parents today than it was with my uncle pre-1997.  (To learn more about Ellen’s coming out view her video biography at http://www.biography.com/people/ellen-degeneres-9542420/videos/ellen-degeneres-full-episode-2244678863)

Sources

Dow, B. J. (2001). Ellen, Television, and the Politics of Gay and Lesbian Visibility. Critical Studies in Media Communication, 123-140.