Is placing children in gender roles harmful?

Several things we have discussed in class this semester have started me thinking about the gender and sexuality identities society places on children from the moment they are born. Jeanne Maglaty in her article, "When Did Girls Start Wearing Pink?" poses that the 'pink is for girls, blue is for boys' stereotype began in the 1920's when department stores dictated that pink was a "boy color." This idea evolved into the dichotomy we know today largely through the advent of prenatal sex tests and a desire by parents to purchase "gender specific" clothing.
Finding this disturbing, I searched online using the terms "gender confused children." I found an old episode of Dr. Phil (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GR1hV4ERlEE) addressing the idea that some children from very young ages like three or four do not enjoy the toys and clothes that have been designated for their sex. Dr. Phil states that less than 20% of "transgendered children" grow to become transgendered adults. This seems to me to be a huge red flag about the gender roles assigned to young kids, because the facts seem to say that childhood gender identity has little to do with what a person will actually decide to become in their adult life, when their cognitive abilities are developed enough to make such a decision. Of course, it is probably difficult for parents raised in generations that have historically reinforced these ideas to accept that they are not necessarily essential and possibly detrimental to successful childhood development. Maglatay even mentions that there is often an irrational fear that if children are reared wearing the "wrong" clothes for their sex that they will grow up to be "perverted." However, I would like to pose that these gender stereotypes largely serve to harm these small minds and, in these cases of child gender confusion, they can often be incredibly hurtful to the growing process, setting up societal prerogatives to steer the child away from their wants and needs and subjecting them to unnecessary problems such as schoolyard bullying.
Additionally, on Monday in class, Professor McCaulliff said something that has been ringing in my mind ever since. She was explaining that her young daughter has a very close friend in day care who happens to be male, and that the employees at the daycare often like to joke that the little boy is her daughter's boyfriend. Professor McCaulliff went on to say that she likes to remind these adults that perhaps her daughter "won't want a boyfriend" when she is older and pointed out to us that babies do not flirt or have relationships because they are BABIES, and that she is seen as the "weird mom" at daycare. No matter what gender or sexuality adults seem desperate to place on children, their tiny undeveloped minds are simply not wired for this type of complex thinking.
Although my parents and many influential adult figures throughout my childhood have done nothing but provide me unconditional love and support, and I am forever indebted to them, I cannot help but wonder the kind of person I would be today if I was not raised as a heterosexual girl, a girl who had boxes upon boxes of Barbies and was shown in school that glitter, pink, and purple were the best kinds of clothes if I wanted to fit in with my peers. As an adult I am making more efforts to gear my thinking less toward these "black and white" classifications of gender and sexuality, but I will admit this is an extremely difficult task. I am hoping that in generations to come, society's thoughts about these things will become more advanced and children will finally grow up in a world where it is okay to be anywhere on these spectra and not have to worry about whether they will be considered "perverts."